After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
