My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
