Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
