I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I cockslap morals
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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