There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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