I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
