dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
either way he was missing a nipple.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
