Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
