Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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