I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
