still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
