Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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