i don't like sucking hair
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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