idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
