There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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