We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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