We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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