I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
