Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
