i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I think people are normalizing furries
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
