Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
