i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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