Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
