just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
