can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
