Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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