Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
