i just google imaged poop.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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