so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
