Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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