It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
