it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
