I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
