just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
