All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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