I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
