We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
