I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
