You really coming over, don't trick.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
