you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
