I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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