I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just blew my weed a kiss
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
