Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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