I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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