You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
