Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
