But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Randomize
