Whoa Z and x make the same sound
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
