One girl and one boy is just not enough.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
