If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
