you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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