I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
whose ass print is on the piano?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
