Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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