also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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