Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
