Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
