Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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