I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
