just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
